To My Trafficker,
Why couldn't you just leave me alone, you monster? For ten torturous days, you'd had your fun. You'd made who-knows-how-much money off exploiting and abusing my body. As I packed up for freedom, the safety of home almost within reach, you snuffed out that light too. Demanding my phone, unlocked, you ensured you still had me on a string, performing as your little puppet even from afar. I hate you, you sick fucking piece of shit. I hate that you had the audacity to affectionately stroke my face before partially choking me out one last time, forever cementing your controlling image in my mind.
Now let me explain why I was your biggest mistake. The evil you harbour does not surpass the strength of my will to survive this pain. I begged for death and you denied me that release - not once, not twice, but THREE fucking times while under your roof. For that, I thank you. That's right - while I trembled beneath your torment, pleading with you to pull the trigger and allow me to slip into an eternal darkness, your insistence on protecting your assets gave me new life. I may have been nothing more than an object with a price tag for you to abuse, and you may have successfully convinced that version of me that your perception was fact… But now the “easy target” you took advantage of has become more fierce than you could possibly imagine.
You burned my whole world to the ground, burying me in ashes so deep I lost myself entirely. You destroyed everything I had built, a life I was nurturing after a childhood rife with abuse. You turned my body into a prison of memories so painful they fell from conscious awareness, festering in my nervous system, expressed through debilitating illness. You placed a wedge between my devoted husband and I, driving us farther apart than we thought was survivable at the time... But we did. We overcame the violent destruction of our life and built a new one - a better one, with a solid foundation that could handle the weight of what you and so many others put us through. Sure, it took more than a decade, but that young girl you knew has grown into an unstoppable woman who will never give up or be silenced again. I will shout my story from rooftops so that other survivors may hear me. I will expose the atrocities committed by scum like you, so that others can emerge from their shells. My spark is fanned by the people I've reached already, and it's growing into a fire so bright it will eliminate the darkness as I continue to connect through the sharing of my story. I will create a masterpiece from the fractured parts of my being, enduring the agonizing process of gluing myself together.
You broke a young girl who was already fractured. You used your authority to strike fear into the heart of a child who was well-practiced in surviving abuse. You preyed on a vulnerable soul who hadn't even had a chance to form her identity. You're a disgusting predator and that is a label you will always carry. As for me, I've grown, and I've rescued that girl you hurt. She's safe now. Your facade is not. I will evolve while you choke on your own venom, you sorry excuse for a human being. The bill for your crimes grows every day, with the price of your soul having already been paid.
Fuck You,
The Girl You Failed to Bury
